Haystacks Calhoun

As most serious wrestling fans will recall, Haystacks Calhoun was one of wrestling's biggest attractions in the late 50s through the early 70s.

Billed from Morgan's Corner, Arkansas, wrestling barefoot and dressed in bib overalls, Haystacks Calhoun tipped the scales at a near-legitimate 601 pounds.

He was huge for the day, was a tremendous attraction all over the country, and before Andre appeared on the wrestling scene, Haystacks Calhoun was the true "Giant" of wrestling.

Unfortunately, as legend has it, Haystacks also had a very high opinion of himself, and voiced that opinion in the dressing room in front of the boys on many occasions. Apparently, Haystacks also didn't practice the very best of personal hygiene.

"I ought to be in the Main Event," Haystacks would say, "and we would have a sellout!" Or, "The house is good tonight because I'm on top."

Egotistical comments like that didn't endear Haystacks to the boys, and thus made the 601-pounder a target of quite a few ribs. This is one of those ribs, that I believe may have been committed by the legendary "Classy" Freddie Blassie.

Haystacks was known to travel with his wife and a little dog, usually in an oversized pickup specially equipped to handle his weight. Sometimes Haystacks would leave the dog in his truck with the windows cracked just a bit to let the air in.

Well, on this occasion, while Haystacks was in the dressing room, Freddie Blassie went out to his truck and fed the little dog Ex-Lax. Then, when the dog started pooping, Freddie went around to the passenger window and called the dog over.

Then he went back to the driver's side and called the dog over. Consequently, the dog was running back and forth, getting poop all over Haystacks' front seat.

By the time Haystacks finished his match and came back out to the truck, the stench was overbearing. It took Haystacks hours to wash all the crap out of his truck.

And he apparently never knew that he had been the victim of a vicious wrestling rib committed by Freddie Blassie!

Haystacks Calhoun Story #2

Here's another story about a vicious rib perpetrated on poor Haystacks Calhoun, this time while on a Trans-Pacific airline flight to Japan.

Apparently because of his size, Haystacks had been provided with First-Class flying accommodations on this trip to Japan, while the rest of the boys were flying Coach.

Legend has it that Haystacks was showing off in front of the boys, bragging about flying First Class, gorging himself on wine and steaks, etc. So the boys gave old Haystacks a receipt in the form of a heavy rib, again involving a laxative, but this time Haystacks was the recipient!

That's right: after gorging himself on wine and steaks, one of the boys somehow slipped Haystacks a laxative.

So halfway across the Pacific Ocean, with hours to go before landing in Japan, in a closed-up airliner with no way to roll down a window, that laxative started to work and poor 601-pound Haystacks Calhoun's stomach began to rumble.

And he had to go to the bathroom. Bad.

I keep saying "poor old Haystacks," because at 601 pounds, he didn't fit into the airplane lavatory. And nature was coming fast!

Turns out, a couple of poor airline attendants (stewardesses, as they were known in those days) had to hold open a garbage bag while Haystacks Calhoun evacuated his bowels while he stood in the galley, and another stewardess made sure the curtain stayed closed!

Supposedly, the most horrible smell began to permeate the cabin, making several passengers ill.

And the plane had several hours to go before it arrived in Japan!

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A Pair of Classic Haystacks Calhoun Stories

Haystacks Calhoun Story #1

Haystacks Calhoun Story #2